Remiss

There is no other way to explain it.  I have been remiss in my correspondence.  It is inexcusable, but I hope that you can accept this apology - though a bit of punishment may be in order, the choosing of which I will leave in your able and just hands.

These weeks have been difficult.  I have found myself struggling to keep emotions in check and to balance all that must be done.

It is easy to place love and intimacy at the bottom of ones agenda, always pushing it to tomorrow or next week, endlessly promising to re-ignite the fire before it dies.  But that is the crux, is it not?  To keep a relationship as warm as possible at all times.

After all, if I am to be perfectly honest, everything else in life runs more smoothly and seems to affect my state of mind less negatively when "we" are put at the top of my daily tasks.

This, of course, means that each morning when I wake, my first thoughts are of you.  Periodically throughout the day, my breath catches, and I can feel the blood rushing through my veins as the sheer emotional largess of my feelings for you wash over me.  And in the evening, when I am blessed enough to spend a few hours in your company, the focus should be you.  Not the housekeeping.  Not work.  And, after they have been put to bed, not the children, either.

It is the strength of our bond that is central to the strength of our marriage.  And it is the strength of our marriage that is central to our happiness and well-being.  Finally, it is our happiness and well-being that are central to the strength of our family and our success outside the home.

It all comes back to "us".  

Seeing you standing naked in front of the shower, having you pull me to you, closing my eyes and feeling your warm lips blaze a slow path down the side of my neck and onto my collarbone and shoulder...reminded me of this.

This is my renewed vow to you...that I will put you before all else.

All my love, this Valentine's Day.  All my heart.  All my lust.

Brigit