Slut

Daddy's assignment:  When you release your inner slut from her mental cage, what is it she hungers for, and what makes you keep her there? I have seen her, I have tasted her, I have fucked her and I would like to see more of her. 



This is an interesting question, because I'm not really sure.  I suppose it's insecurity...as with everything else that I hold back.  I have a tendency to judge myself harshly, and honestly, when I'm slutty for any length of time, sometimes I lose respect for myself or find my behavior repulsive.  It's not, as you might think, my fear of rejection or a worry that I might look unworthy or dirty.  I don't fear your judgement as much as I might the judgement of others...which I suppose is backwards.  I should worry more about your thoughts and feelings than anyone else's.

As for what she hungers for?  Well, I have all kinds of fantasies...but when I'm at my sluttiest, I suppose it tends toward the taboo and usually impulsive behaviors that would be seen as "naughty" by that notorious "they" we all talk about.  Things like sex with strangers, making out or feeling someone up in public, sex in an alley...it's also when I most crave anal sex and prefer doggy style because bending me over and shoving yourself into me, pushing my face into the bed or the floor, or whatever, puts you in complete control of my body.  It also exposes all of me to you.

I like it when you tell me what to do, because it takes the decision away from me.  If you want it, no matter if I find it uncomfortable or not, you must find something appealing about it...and better yet...appealing about ME doing it.  It pleases you.  And if my slutty behavior pleases you, then I need to be better about offering it up.

I do often find my slutty behavior irresponsible.  But, since our slide into the D/g side of D/s promises to allow me room to be more impulsive, wanton, and irresponsible, I would expect that your little slut will show herself more often.

Fantasies are a weird thing for me, though...and I know you want to know more about mine.  The problem is that because I rely so much on experience and what's in front of my face at any given time - I tend to WANT what is available to me...or I fantasize about things in my immediate environment.

For example, we might be out at a bar.  I might see someone I find sexy.  And the fantasies begin.  I imagine meeting them in the hallway to the bathroom and just taking up a stall...never even learning each other's names.  I imagine dancing dirty and taking them home.  I imagine kissing them or fucking in the alley.  Now would I do most of these things?  No.  And that's for many reasons.  First of all, safety.  Second of all, anonymity - living in a small town with a highly public career that would be ruined by getting caught doing something illegal or "immoral".  And third, the opportunity, no matter what my fantasy, doesn't always present itself.

I don't really like the idea of meeting someone off the internet.  For some reason it weirds me out to find sexual partners about whom I know nothing, fuck them, and risk all kinds of repercussions.

While I'm lubricated with liquid courage, lots of things sound like good ideas.  When I'm completely sober and facing it in the morning - sometimes I am amazed and horrified, knowing that if I'd followed up on it, I would be regretting it.



I can say that one thing that very much releases my inner slut is your forceful hand.  When you demand my body - use it for your own purpose without care for my own needs - when you are rough and even hurt me in the process a bit...that little whore inside of me comes running to kneel at your feet.

So, I suppose I can say a few particular things bring the slut out to play:  liquor, environment and perceived opportunity, and you - at your most dominant.